My Grandpa is dying

I got news today from Mom's Sister Vada that my Grandpa has been coughing up blood all day.  He's been under hospice care for a few weeks now & is dying of lung cancer.  On his last birthday he turned 90 years old.  When they diagnosed him with cancer he was still climbing onto the roof to clean off the leaves & tree limbs much to my Aunt Vada's chagrin.  Stubborness runs in the Mohr veins deep & long. 

That's a picture of my Grandpa walking me down the aisle in 1990 marrying my high school sweetheart. 

The next time I was to see them was in 1998 while in Alliance meeting my oldest Sister for the very first time.  (That'll be for another blog post).  I went over and spent some time with him and Grandma.  I alway loved being regaled with their stories!

I honestly don't know my Grandparents very well having lived most of my life in the South.  But knowing that my G'pa is fixing to pass saddens me a whole lot.  I realize that you can't sit and think about the "If I'd only's" but sometimes I wish my family had been closer growing up or into adulthood so we could have shared more in each other's lives.  There will be stories I'll never hear, opinions I'll never hear expressed, and laughter I'll never remember. 

My Aunt Vada said in a text msg "He told me he wants to die.  His exact words were.. I'm tired of this shit." 

I can't imagine what state of body and mind you have to be in to be ready to go.  I hope I never find out.  But if he's ready to go, I'm ready to let him go.